Confession of the heart
by Claude Amelia Song
Summary: Severus needs to tell Hermione the truth about him and how he feels until it's not too late. He goes to Albus for advice but the Headmaster tells him what his heart already had: "You need to tell her the truth."


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the poem. They belong to their respective authors.**

Quidditch League

Round 3

Team: Pride of Portree

CHASER 3: **_Write about a Truth that is a love confession_** OR write about someone being Dared to confess their love.

Optional prompts:

4\. (song) Sunrise - Our Last Night

10\. (word) wither

11\. (emotion) regret

Words: 2288

Betaed by Oni and Jessica. Thank you very much!

Severus covered his face with his hands.

"What do I do Albus? How do I fix this?" he asked his mentor, hoping that Dumbledore would give him an answer.

"By telling her the truth, Severus." The headmaster said, looking at him with a grave expression.

"But…" he protested. How could he tell the truth? Was that even truly an option?

"No, you have to. Miss Granger deserves as much. I know that she is certain of her feelings for you, the question is: are you certain of _your_ feelings, Severus?"

The man tilted his head.

"I'm certain of them, Albus, but something about it feels wrong. I don't think that will ever change. She is my _student_. You should be vilifying me, not condoning it! You should fire me! Or send me to prison," he said, whispering the last part.

"Yes," the old man agreed, "I should be. But I can't, not knowing what I know. Severus, I condone it because I know both you and Miss Granger. You should think better of her. She does love you; it is clear that this is not just a schoolgirl crush. She is mature enough to realise the depth of her feelings. She had told me as much when she came to see me."

"To see you?" The Potions Master asked surprised. "When?"

"Almost a year ago. I can say that I never expected her to do so. But at the same time, it should not have been that much of surprise. Miss Granger is a person who fights for her beliefs and her friends. She knocked on my door in the middle of the night, waking me up. She then proceeded to confess the feelings she has harbored for you since her youth, which have only grown stronger as she has matured. She told me about you- the little things that made her fall in love, and she asked me not to intervene if I were to find out that you returned her feelings. And I did not. However, I feel I may have to if you do not tell her the truth in a timely manner. Neither of you deserve to be miserable for no good reason."

Severus didn't know what to say. He had promised himself that he would never fall in love again, that after Lily there would be no one. And yet, Hermione had managed to get into his heart. She was the one who offered him a smile every day, who defended him in front of any student that spoke ill of him and the one who came each night to his chambers to talk about potions, but they always ended up talking about more than just that.

"Why did you arrange for us to work together? Why did you let her remain as my assistant?" he asked instead.

"Because I thought that she was the only one who could cope with your personality. I knew that you needed a friend, even if you would not admit to it. And I stand by my decision. After all, she made me swear that I won't intervene. Telling her that she couldn't be your assistant anymore would have been intervening, don't you think?"

"Why did you swear?" Severus asked, trying to understand how the old man could agree with anything so fundamentally flawed.

"She asked me. She presented her points in such a way that I could not refute them. Miss Granger is old enough to make her own choices, Severus. As she pointed out to me, she is one year older than her classmates. Due to the use of the Time-Turner in her third year she is closer to two years older, which makes her physically of-age."

Severus sighed. Albus did have a point. He couldn't continue like this; he couldn't deny his own feelings anymore. After nearly two years of working with Hermione, he had changed. He hadn't thought finding love again was possible, but she deserved to know the truth. He couldn't just dismiss her. He needed her help, especially now that the Dark Lord had requested for him to brew even more potions. He needed to tell her that he loved her; how much she meant to him. She had already said it a number of times, but he had never replied; he was too scared. How could a girl that he had treated so poorly possibly fall in love with him?

"Severus? It's getting late. You should speak with her before curfew. I hope that in the morning I'll hear that the two of you have made up."

The younger man nodded and rose from his chair, inclining his head towards his employer.

"Thank you for listening, Albus."

"It was a pleasure, my boy. I do hope you two sort things out."

'So do I, Headmaster, so do I,' thought Severus.

He had to talk with her before his resolve broke; before he backed away again. But would she want to talk with him after the fight they'd had earlier? She had found his pictures and drawings of Lily and had demanded to know why he had them. She'd asked if he had known her- Potter's mother and… he had blown up. He needed to apologise and tell her the truth. She was his ray of hope in an ocean of darkness. He had regretted his harsh words the instant they left his mouth, but he also knew that he could never take them back. Why did he have to feel so defensive anyway? He had truly gotten closer to Hermione for the past two years; he should have learnt to trust her by now.

He opened the door to his chambers to find her waiting for him on the sofa.

"Hermione, I…"he started at the same time she spoke.

"Severus..."

"I'm sorry," he said, pouring every ounce of emotion into his voice. "I really am Hermione. I should never have shouted at your or said the words I did. If I could take them back I would."

Hermione shook her head and smiled.

"I know you are. I think I understand a bit why you reacted this way. And I owe you an apology as well. I had no right to enter your room and look through your things. I guess curiosity got the best of me. But I... Please, Severus. I just want to know you. I need to know more about you. I want to understand. I _love_ you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he said, looking into her in the eyes and revelling in the mixture of ecstasy and shock evident on her face.

"Severus..." She said again, but he cut her off by crossing the room and placing a finger on her lips.

"No, let me finish. I love you, Hermione Jean Granger. I don't know how you managed it, but you took my heart, a heart I didn't think I had, and crawled under my skin. You are in my blood, in my soul. I tried to fight it, but I'm in too deep. I even went to Albus for advice, but you got to him first. Everything he said only made me want you more," he murmured while holding her tightly against his body.

When they finally parted, he sat down next to Hermione and fixed her with a serious look. "I will tell you everything, but please don't interrupt me. I'm not sure I'll be able to continue if you do."

She nodded.

"I won't. But I can't promise that I won't have questions once you've finished," she added and he smiled.

"Off course you will." He chuckled, feeling some of the tension leaving him. "You always have questions about everything." He stood and walked across the room. He stood staring at the fire, his back to Hermione. He knew that it would be easier if he could not see her reactions. He took a deep breath and adopted the tone he used for lectures as he began his tale.

"Now, imagine that there was a boy who always dreamed that he would grow up to be a superhero and save his mum from his father. Then he did grow up and, of course, realised that superheroes don't exist. And even if they did, he most certain wouldn't have been one of them. Not in this life at least.

"The boy was very lonely growing up so when he found a friend, he was very happy. She was kind, beautiful, and lovely. They were happy together and that was enough. But then, they went to Hogwarts and everything changed. They were sorted into different Houses and soon made different friends. Well, the girl did. The boy's friends weren't really his friends, merely tactful acquaintances. The two of them grew apart and separated completely after the boy insulted her with the most foul word he could muster. He didn't mean it, but she would not believe him. She never spoke with him again and later went on to marry and procreate with the boy's worst enemy.

"The boy grew desperate and joined the Death Eaters, wanting to escape the constant night his world had become ever since his friend had left him. He wanted power and freedom, but most of all he wanted to belong. As soon as he heard something important, he immediately reported to the Dark Lord, because he wanted approval, because there was no other choice and because he didn't think and… it got the girl killed. As soon he heard he ran to her.

"Seeing her lifeless body lying on the floor was his breaking point. Suddenly it seemed as though all the air had rushed out of the room, and he collapsed to the floor cradling her in his arms, tears streaming down his face. His crying was silent, a lesson learnt well as child, but he had soon realised that he wasn't the only one crying.

"Harry's cries still ring in my ears." Severus didn't realise that he had slipped and he was talking in the first person, too absorbed by his memories. "Before Lily's death, I went to Albus and pledged myself to him so that he would save her, but the Potters put their trust in the wrong person. Ever since I joined, I looked for a way out. I wanted to fight, that's why I took on my duty as a spy. I swore that night to Albus that I would protect Harry for his mother. I loved her very much. And I've been holding onto that love for years, afraid to let go. My purpose in life was to protect her son as she would have wished me to. I know she didn't love me as I loved her but I blamed myself for it. I kept those pictures and drawings because I needed to remember; to see her. But I haven't needed to look at them for almost a year. The time I've spent with you had changed me. I'm not afraid to let go any longer I don't love her as I did before. She will always hold a special place in my heart and memory as my first friend, but it is _you_ that I love. I _love you,_ Hermione, with all that I am," he declared and turned to look at her. It was then that he noticed her tears.

"Hermione? Why are you crying?" he asked gently, wondering if he had said something wrong.

"Severus, you just told me your life story and told me you love me; I just… I am so sorry for what you have been through and so happy that you love me! Thank you for telling me, for trusting me," she said and stood with her arms open to hug him.

"I'm still a terrible choice. I may not have loved anyone other than Lily, but I have had… relations… with other women from time to time. They left, too, but I cannot find it in me to blame them. They deserved better, and so do you. I wish I'd told you sooner so you know who I am; who are you dealing with _. The darkness fills my heart inside._  
 _I'm left to burn, char and die._  
 _Why does this sorrow just come to me?_  
 _Why do I always pay the fee?"_

Hermione sighed, tears brimming in her eyes. Her grip on Severus tightened.

" _The smoke churns_  
 _Darkness whispers,_  
 _'Come Hither'_  
 _And I'm just left to wither,_ " she whispered back, obviously familiar with the poem. "It's not true, though. I would never leave you. I will stand by your side no matter what. I promise."

Severus kissed her. He poured the depth of his feelings for her into that kiss. His eyes misted with tears as he took her promise to heart.

"You read Anoushka Jain too?" he asked when they broke apart.

"Yes, I do." she answered with a small smile. "She is actually one of my favourites, but you're being rather harsh on yourself if you believe that her poem applies to you."

The darkness in his heart wasn't forgotten, but at least the sadness was brushed aside for the rest of the night.

The two of them sat in front of the fire and talked until the sun rose about everything and nothing, getting to know each other, because even though they had been 'together' for some months, they still had a lot to discover.

The sunrise found them curled up together, Hermione's head on his chest, and soft smiles on both of their faces.

They were finally together and knew that they could make it until the war was over and light triumphed over the darkness once again.


End file.
